“You should benefit self and others alike.”
~~Dogen Zenji, Bodhisattvas Four Methods of Guidance

Often, when I find myself with too much work, or when I’m feeling under appreciated, or fatigued, or otherwise stressed, I notice that my mind, as if on auto-pilot, has dialed in one of my most habitual internal channels.  I call it, Negative Self-Talk Radio.  If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know it from personal experience. This is the channel in the mind that’s non-stop blaming and nagging, with nearly never a commercial interruption.  However, we can always tune in to Kind Speech!

Negative self-talk has big implications.  Not only is this mind extremely narrow and cramped, viewing the world from a pin-hole perspective centered on habitual notions of what’s wrong with me, or on blaming everyone and everything that seems, at the moment, to threaten me, myself, and mine. This mind is also corrosive to immediate and long-term happiness.

Negativity and negative self-talk is toxic to fruitful meditation.  It’s a wrecker of intimate relationships, and undercuts our efforts to connect with strangers.  This is because the way we tend to talk and think about ourselves is the wellspring and root of the way we tend to talk to and think about others.  Plus, negative self-talk is also ruinous to good health.

Kind Speech

According to the Mayo Clinic, negative self-talk does not ease, but only adds to stress. And positive self-talk makes us more effective in life and “may contribute to widely observed health benefits” as well.

Here’s a link to the Mayo Clinic’s article on strengthening the habit of positive self-talk and optimism: mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=1

Of course, because each of us is usually our own harshest critique, and because most of us probably tend to reserve our harshest negative self-talk for ourselves, as we develop and strengthen our own positive self-talk habit, we’ll be more able to extend the practice of kind speech to others.  And more health, and joy will ensue in, and around us.

“Those who hear kind speech from you have a delighted expression and a joyful mind.  Those who hear of your kind speech will be deeply touched — they will never forget it.”
~~Dogen Zenji, Bodhisattvas Four Methods of Guidance